To Blog or Not to Blog

Posted on February 22, 2012 by joni

I made the commitment to write a weekly Blog when I started my social media presence in earnest. The word BLOG is a combination of the words WEB and LOG. It’s basically a record of my thoughts that is posted on the Internet.

Whether you think instant and world-wide publication that is largely not vetted is a good thing is an interesting discussion point, but just like trying to put toothpaste pack in the tube, it’s really too late to stop the trend.  There are Bloggers who write about events as they are happening. Some wait for the dust to settle and with a little hindsight – attempt to put their thoughts into a larger context.  No matter what the writers view – the goal is to keep readers up to date with what the author is thinking about.  More informal and casual than traditional writers who get paid and have their work vetted, Blogs can get the word out, keep people in touch, inform, entice, or inflame.

A Blog should be in your ‘voice.’ I found mine (in written form) when I wrote my book over 10 years ago. Not totally corporate but not totally informal either, my voice is consistent with not just who I am when I talk to someone in person – but with how I want to be known.

I was told that once you start a BLOG you have to stay with it. People come back to check it and if they have already read the post, they might come back once or twice, but over time, people are busy and they’ll move on to what’s new and fresh. So I aim for posting once a week.  And as I go through the week, I think about what might be of interest to readers: something I’ve learned,  what I’m doing with a client, my take on what is going on in my area of expertise, a issue that is in the news that has to do with my work, or a question I’m mulling over.  If it’s personal, I connect it to my area of expertise or something everyone can relate to.  No one cares all that much about my personal life and I tend to like to keep some of the private things private. I’m old school enough to think that my friends are people I’d know if we met up.

A Blog is a conversation. Granted, I don’t always know if my Blog is being read or what people are thinking when they read them. But there is room for people to leave comments. Some send me emails or connect via Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter. I’d like more readers/followers, but more than that — I prefer to treat people like the adults they are (no matter how they act). If I provide something (to read) of value, I trust that they will continue to read/follow/pass it along.  So I continue to write and post in the hopes that you’re out there, reading and thinking.

If you have question or observations that I can respond and write about, send it along.  I’d like to hear your thoughts. I’d like to think about what YOU have to say. It could end up in a Blog post!

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My Two Cents

Posted on February 14, 2012 by joni

If someone goes to the trouble of asking you for your advice, they probably want to know what you really think. It’s true that there are people who want you to tell them what they want to hear (“Do I look fat in these jeans?”) but coddling is rarely asked for in the workplace.

Still – harsh honesty seems callous.  Sometimes, it’s downright mean. While you can certainly choose to be blunt – a little thought can mean the difference between thoughtlessness and consideration.

Being honest does not mean that you can’t also offer support. If their presentation lacks pizzazz, suggest a few things that might make it livelier. If you think that hiring an ex-room mate spells trouble on the horizon, suggest a few candidates with no previous connections to anyone you know. The goal is to help and to make the outcome better in some useful way.  Telling someone that their choice of location for the offsite meeting is a poor one isn’t really helpful.

The challenge with feedback is that it’s just their opinion. While it may be accurate – it’s still a point of view. Their point of view

I’ve gotten my share of feedback. Not all of it easy to hear or requested. Sometimes I think that getting up in front of people for a living and providing training or making a presentation is an odd way to spend my time. Not only do people often confuse me (the messenger) with the content (the message), many think that evaluation forms are really invitations for “open season” on any and all opinions that they want to share.

When I spoke to a conference about the role of women on corporate boards, I was told that my shoes did not really go with my suit.

When I conducted a program on leading employees through a major organizational change, I was informed that I should serve bagels instead of danish.

After presenting a training program about understanding how to motivate a multi-generational workforce, I was advised to include more examples using country music.

There are often a few people who can’t wait to let me know how I can improve my program, enhance my appearance, correct my thinking, and handle participants or audience members more effectively. I also am told to make the room more hot, make  the room more cold, get more comfortable chairs, be less funny or be funnier. One person advised told me to be taller.

I sometimes wonder if I look especially open or appear especially inept – people are so eager provide feedback whether it’s asked for or not, welcome or not, needed or not.

I always thank the feedback giver for their candor. I add that they have given me something to think about. And I DO think about what they’ve said.

It’s certainly their two cents — and always tells me a great deal about them.

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Does It Fit?

Posted on February 7, 2012 by joni

I’ve often said that ‘feedback not asked for is rarely taken well’ and it is not only accurate, but alarmingly true on the part of the boss.  If a boss doesn’t know how he or she is perceived by the people they manage every day, performance suffers. Unlike Ed Koch, Mayor of New York City from 1978-1989 whose frequent question “How Am I Doing?” became the title of his bestselling book, most boss’s don’t ask for feedback with great regularity.

The ability to give feedback well depends on skill and the ability to both give and receive feedback effectively and it often rests on the trust that exists between the two people involved.  If there is openness between you and your boss and trust exists, the intentions of the person giving the feedback are less suspect and the information can be easier to hear.

In a perfect world, the boss asks for feedback. In the real world, the invitation may never come.  In training rooms around the region, I may want to focus on Managers giving feedback to Employees, but many Managers want help figuring out the best way to give feedback to the boss.

It can be so tempting to dream about all the things you want to say to the boss: what they are doing wrong, what they do that irks you, and how they can be better at the job of managing YOU! Keep in mind that they are not you and telling them what you would do if you were them is not providing feedback.  Focus on how you see things and the impact it has on you, the team, the customer, or the organization.

Remember that you only see things from your own unique perspective. You don’t have all the information the boss has so you may not have a full understanding of all the constraints and pressures that are causing the actions you see. Sharing how you see things can help the boss have an idea about how his or her behaviors are seen and experienced by others. It’s information that can be used to improve their performance. If they take the feedback and act on it.

Some keys to giving feedback well: it is honest and data driven. Specifics help, generalizations and labels don’t.  Feedback is given to help, not do damage.

And what if you are the recipient of feedback –– the uninvited kind?

Feedback is a lot like a sweater someone gives you as a gift. Try it on. Don’t assume that it’s not for you. Fashion changes with the season.  Spend some time looking at yourself from a lot of different angles in the mirror. Try the sweater on with other things you already own. You might be surprised by what you see.

If it fits and looks right on you – keep it.

If it doesn’t fit and looks wrong on you – forget about it.

But feedback is a gift of information. No matter what you do, always say “Thank You.”  

 

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Tell Me Something Bad

Posted on January 31, 2012 by joni

 When my son was young, I told him two basic truths that I believed would save us all a lot of grief down the road:

Mom’s don’t like surprises – Specifically, I didn’t want to get a call from school telling me something that I could have heard from him. This also included calls from other adults revealing some bit of information i might not really want to hear. If there was a good chance I was going to learn something unexpected and unfavorable concerning him, I preferred to hear it from him.

 Don’t lie – Having been a child myself, I knew that eventually a lie will be revealed and the consequences are greater upon the discovery of the lie than for whatever the lie was about in the first place.

I gave him several examples of each of these two points. I concluded the conversation by telling him that even if he was somewhere he shouldn’t be and had told me that he would be one place when he actually was in a different place, if he did not feel safe and could not get home,, he could call at any time, day or night, and I would happily come get him, no questions asked. He was a little incredulous about this and probed further, asking “Seriously?! You’ll happily come get me at three in the morning?!”

 I admitted that while I might not actually be happy, I would get him and whatever conversation we had about the events in question, they would be held the next day in calm tones.

I was true to my word.

I frequently hear manager’s talk about the challenge of working with employees who don’t communicate potential problems and gloss over critical information because they are not comfortable delivering bad news to the boss. No one points out the flaws in ideas or projects until costly mistakes are made.

 But if doubts ARE expressed, how do people react? Do other employees assure the manager that the idea is sound? Is the flaw explored or swept aside in the interest if time and peacekeeping?

 One of the worst experiences you can have as a manager is when you discover that something bad that you should have known about or might have prevented was not conveyed to you in a timely fashion. You can’t be everywhere and know everything – but getting bad news via ambushed creates a dreadful sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. Not only can it rock your world; it makes you wonder ‘what else don’t I know?”

There are many reasons people don’t tell you things you need to know, but there are some thing you can do to encourage the sharing of bad news:

  • Forget about blame – look for the cause and determine the best way to prevent future occurrences.
  • Keep cool – No one wants to be the reason you freak out so don’t do it. Exercise restraint and remain outwardly calm no matter how you feel inside. Everyone is watching how you handle receiving bad news so show them that you mean it when you say that you “want to hear about problems.”
  • Send the message that you want people to find problems and come up with ways to fix them.
  • Celebrate the successes and solutions. Start creating a workplace culture that values problem solving.

Forget about naming names, pointing fingers or punishing the guilty.  Focus on the real goal – getting the news before too much damage is done.

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Still Taking the Job?

Posted on January 24, 2012 by joni

I conduct many management development training programs. Some focus on managing at the middle level and some are geared toward the first line manager or supervisor. They are usually implemented as a series, covering a variety of the skills and strategies that are essential for managing effectively.

During the first session, I often ask the participants why they became managers.  I get these answers:

  • I want to move forward in my career.
  • I want to make more money.
  • I want to contribute to the goals of the organization.
  • I want to share my knowledge.
  • I want to have a greater impact on decisions made.

I like these answers because they are honest. The majority of people I meet in my programs are focused on themselves. They are tuned in to everyone’s favorite radio station – WIIFM. (AKA What’s In It For Me). Most of us are tuned in to this frequency to some degree or other. Motivated by the carrot (what goodie do I get) or the stick (what negative consequence can I avoid) we work for a variety of reasons that often changes as our lives shift from stage to stage.

Where you work for the paycheck, the prestige, the visibility, the challenge, the flexibility, the security, the collegiality, the convenience, or some mixture of these factors – it usually is about what we get out of it.

So many people seem genuinely surprised when I suggest that the job of the manager is not about them at all. Managing people is most often defined as ‘getting work done through others.’ This really means that it’s about THEM. What motivates them. How to leverage their talent. How to attract, develop and train them.

While I am sympathetic about the stress that managers deal with, the truth is that my training program will not really address how well they are managed by their boss, how good the policies and procedures are in the organization, or how the folks in Human Resources could be much more helpful than they are.  Not only can I not do much about those things in a training program, it’s totally beside the point. Employees don’t care how unloved, under-appreciated, or undermined their bosses are. They simply want to be managed well.

Today, in a management program, I was asked by one of the participants “When does it tapered off – this them focus?”

“That’s a really good question.” I said. I tossed it to the group of 18 other participants and asked them what they thought. After some discussion they all agreed that it probably never did. The THEM focus is what the job of manager or supervisor is all about. It gets lost in the shuffle of career development, management goals and objectives, and being proactive about your career development.

Hiring, motivating, mentoring, training, teaching, developing, retaining, providing both improvement and reinforcement feedback, presenting, taking corrective action, firing, supporting – are all things managers do. It’s not in addition to the job, it IS the job.

If more people understood that, do you think they would still go for that promotion to manage other people?

 

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I Want To Be Alone

Posted on January 17, 2012 by joni

Yes, this phrase, made famous by Greta Garbo (although she didn’t say it exactly like that) may be one you have been muttering under your breath.  In a recent article in the New York Times by Susan Cain sent to me by a colleague who was thinking about our overscheduled lives and overscheduled children, I see that us mutterers are not alone.

Ms. Cain’s take echoes my own experience: most humans possess two conflicting desires: to be alone and to be with others. If armchair research provides any validation I know this to be true because I’ve seen it in my son, my husband and in myself.

The quiet part of the creative process allows us to think and reflect. When my dog Wylie was alive, I found walking him a great way to leave the computer screen and think about projects, people, conversations, strategies, titles for presentations, and visual cues for concepts. It fueled the conversations I would have alter with clients and colleagues. (And it goes without saying that I found time alone invaluable for thinking about how I wanted to articulate things in my personal life.)

In the late 80’s there was a Hewlett-Packard commercial that ran on television showing an employee in the shower; the employee was struck by a supposedly brilliant idea, and ran from the shower to make a call and pass the idea on. The theme for this series of popular commercials was ‘What if….” And it was based on something that actually happened to one of the company’s founders. Time alone can stimulate the creativity required.

The move to get us all online, all collaborating, all brainstorming leaves little room for this critical solitude that can be so essential for insight and creativity. We share workspace and are put on committees. The day is crammed full of conference calls and meetings.   Some of that makes perfect sense. Being with groups of people is a way to share information and ideas, learn and teach, develop rapport and trust.

You don’t have to be an introvert to want privacy. People say I can talk to telephone poles but I block out time to get some writing done.  I reserve time in my week to get to the stack of professional reading I’ve piled up in the hopes that the information will add something to my thinking and the contribution I make when talking to others.  And I need, crave, and demand time to design the structure of a training program or presentation. I can collaborate with colleagues and clients, but not if I don’t have anything that’s well thought out and useful to share with them.

In one of my very first corporate jobs, there was a department known as R&D (AKA Research and Development)  I rarely saw anyone go in or out of the door, but when I was asked to come and facilitate a meeting I got to see what was behind the always closed entrance to the department. The folks who worked there lived in what looked to me like chaos. Stuff lying everywhere, piles of files and papers on every surface, and trash strewn on the floor. The R&D team looked scruffy and bedraggled, wearing clothes that looked more liked mismatched pajamas, most with ‘bed-head,’ and a few men with a 4 day old facial scruff long before it was a fashion forward thing to do. And from this department came all the new products that made the company its fortune.

I had found the evidence: it can be a very good thing to be left alone with your thoughts for a while.So it’s OK to tell them that you ‘want to be alone’ every so often.

Just smile and add ‘Please.”

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Better or Different?

Posted on January 9, 2012 by joni

I recently read an article about how Millennials (those born between 1982-and 1993) were changing the workplace.  It confirmed what a lot of my clients are telling me:

  • They are refusing to work at places that ban social media;
  • They are choosing flexibility over salary;
  • They are always wired in to their job.

The upside is that the focus is on getting things done rather than how or when things get done.  And many people of every generation are jumping up and down at the reported demise of the 40 hour work week. So they are saying good-bye to the old “9 to 5.”

But take a closer look and you’ll see what I’ve seen for many years: the 40 hour work week has been a thing of the past for a long time. Sure – 40 hours is what employers pay for. But I haven’t worked 40 hours since leg warmers were in fashion and I don’t know anyone else who has either.

And sometimes HOW things get done is as important as getting it accomplished. The process and effort have value and often standards to uphold as well.

Good-bye to the old ‘9 to 5” sounds a lot like saying hello to “24/7.” Is it flexibility or is it always being on call? Before we applaud the impact that another generation wants to claim as an improvement over the past, I’d like to offer a few observations:

If staying connected to family and friends via Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Digg, Tumbler, Google+ and whatever comes along between the time I write this and the end of the week is more important than a job – then how important is career development,  the employer’s goals and objectives, and a client or customer’s needs? An outright ban of anything makes most of us want to figure out how to get around what’s prohibited.  Since there is no ‘private’ when you go online, it seems prudent for employees  to have a good understanding about  what’s at risk when they exercise their freedom of speech online. Employers need to find a way to talk about their concerns and the consequences of a social media profile that presents the employer is a poor light.

I’m not sure who was surveyed, but the Millenials I know want more money AND flexibility.  Flexibility makes everyone look like they have control over their day – and most people have obligations that require some wiggle room.

And about ‘always being wired to the job?’ The intrusion of technology into all aspects of our lives may make us feel more essential at work, more important, and more able to respond to any and all requests with urgency and speed. It also provides a distraction from focus, superficiality to relationships, and a blurring of the already fuzzy line between work and home, public and personal.

Effectively managing time means being able to do organize and prioritize. Those are skills that every generation can relate to. Effective Communication means being able to have conversations with others about shifting priorities, and defining the standards for success. Those are abilities all professionals benefit from.

It may appear to be different than an old work paradigm, and the Millenials ARE the future workforce.

I’m just not sure if it’s all that different or all that much better.

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Ment – Her

Posted on January 3, 2012 by joni

When I was 19, I thought I might want to be a counselor. I learned that I’d have to go to Graduate School to get the requisite training and certifications needed.  I didn’t have the money, I didn’t have the desire, and frankly, I didn’t have the confidence.

It was suggested that I talk to a professor at one of the graduate programs I was investigating so I made the call and was invited to her home. I walked into a place where pictures were hung on every available wall space, the coffee was served on china, and I sat on a leopard print sofa. So began a relationship that lasted 37 years.

Mentor, professor, and ultimately dear friend, Jayne provided the push I needed, the support I wanted and wisdom to reflect on. Unlike anyone I had ever met before (or since) she was intelligent,  generous, flamboyant, and possessed an appetite for life that I found captivating There were always things to talk about, songs to sing, topics to discuss , adventures to be had, problems to solve, opinions to articulate, laughter to share, and observations to contemplate.

Even with distance, activity, and obligations, a season never passed without connecting. When she died last week, I found myself thinking that there were still things I wanted to talk with her about. Our relationship will continue – albeit a bit one-sided.

I’ve had other mentors in my life: bosses who showed me the ropes within organizations and taught me the things about my profession that are not written in any article or book. Some of the people who helped shape me didn’t stay in my life all that long.

What I know about the mentoring relationship is that if you are lucky, you get one or two that can significantly shape you. Professionally and personally, you are able to grow, learn, and develop much more and much faster than you ever could have on your own.

When you get an opportunity – pass it on.

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Reflecting: Things I Didn’t Do in 2011

Posted on December 19, 2011 by joni

The end of the year is often a time to reflect and as I look back on 2011, I see things that I didn’t do and I pause to wonder if it was the right thing to NOT do:

I didn’t ask anyone to vote for me, friend me, join my newsletter distribution list or pass the latest issue along, follow me, retweet me, or ask any of their followers or friends to do any of those things. I thought people would prefer to think for themselves and do what the thought was best. I may have been wrong. I didn’t have a huge jump in followers, friends, or retweets.  But I did get more work this year than in the past. Go figure!

I didn’t agree to do whatever was asked of me. This meant not cramming more people into a training room than I could handle well, avoiding days and times when no one wants to pay attention to what is being presented (no matter how compelling),  not ‘smushing’ several unrelated topics together into one incoherent program, or traveling to distant locations to work with people who didn’t want to meet with me. I slept better.

I didn’t avoid hard truths. This meant telling people their performance was insufficient, that there would be consequences to their inaction or action, that anger, whining, and impatience were not management skills, and that they were capable but unwilling or apparently incapable. It also meant communicating clearly that there was probably nothing more I could help them with so the rest was going to be up to them applying the behaviors we were talking about, not just talking about the behaviors. People made progress.

I didn’t follow up ‘just one more time.’ After some combination of three emails, voice mails, or actual conversations, I stopped reminding people of their interest. I assumed (again) that these professionals had moved on and were unwilling or unable to tell me. It didn’t matter if we had met, had talked about working together in specific terms, if I had submitted a proposal, or they had asked for dates and times. I pretended that they had told me that we would not be working together after all. I spent more time working with the people who did respond, which those folks seemed to like just fine.

It’s not that I don’t want more people on my newsletter distribution list retweets, followers – I do.  I want more people to read my blog!  I definitely want to meet the needs of my clients, have them appreciate honest and supportive feedback. And it would be great if I was able to secure responses from people I have been talking with about working together.

So will I do something different in 2012? I think it’s unlikely.  I like working with people who know how to leverage a relationship with a consultant and know the difference between what I do and an employee. I like treating people like adults. I appreciate people who see that my honesty comes from a place that is respectful and supportive.

I will do other things differently in 2012. Wondering what will be different? Wait and see!

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Need to Consult a Consultant?

Posted on December 12, 2011 by joni

A good consultant is a good problem solver – so says a recent article in the New York Times . With a pragmatic eye and a substantial amount of ‘been there – done that’ experience, a skilled consultant adds to the bench strength of an organization.  After working in internal positions for over a decade, I started my consulting practice as a way to offer my expertise to those who needed it.

Hiring me allowed my clients to avoid adding head count. They could leverage my skills and knowledge to their advantage.  With some, over several years, I became a go-to resource because I knew the culture and the players, and also had my finger on the pulse what was happening in management training and development circles, in their industry, or around the area.

The person who starts consulting right out of school or after holding an internal position or two is often   learning on company time, not to mention the company dollar.  These folks might know a lot but they haven’t had to be responsible for the success of failure of their strategies. They may not be around to pick up the pieces down the road.

If you don’t have the expertise yourself, or the staff (AKA bench strength) needed accomplish your goal, whether it’s technical or non-technical – a good consultant will save you time, money, and headaches. A mistake can hurt your organization and damage you reputation.

Whether it’s me or someone else – be smarter than average and take some time to do it right:

Get it in Writing  - Have a document or contract (I use a Letter Agreement)  that spells out the parameters of the relationship, the timeframe for services, what will happen in the event of a problem (illness, company change of direction, staff or budget), the fee structure, expenses, payment plan, and confidentiality issues. Make sure the document is signed by both parties.

Check Them Out – Ask to see a client list, talk with references, or review samples of their work. Do some homework to make sure you know if the way they present their experience is honest.

Know the Rates in the Your Current Market – Don’t assume you know the market for what services cost or base your budget on what you want/hope to spend. Many people hope to hire a consultant based on what they can afford, not on what good expertise and experience actually costs in today’s market. Ask around to see if the fees you are being quoted are too high or if your budget is ridiculously low.

Love is a Two Way Street – Make sure they have time to give you the attention you want and need. You can’t expect to be the only client. You do, however, expect responsiveness when you are a client. Ask about their availability, the number of clients they currently or usually serve at the same time, and how they define responsiveness. Ask about potential conflicts and deadlines.

Discuss the Scope of the Project – Take time to be clear about how you see the entire scope of the project, what it might entail, what and whom it impacts, and what it could lead to or result in. It’s difficult to predict the future but it’s wise to ask a lot of questions and give as much information as it takes for you to both understand all of the implications of working together. Worst case scenarios rarely happen, but ask about them anyway.

 Be a Good Host/Hostess – Make the time to introduce them to anyone they will be interacting with. People should understand why someone has been brought in, the role they will play, and your expectations about how people will be interacting with one another.

It can be exciting to work with a consultant. A good one can help you see things differently and solve problems. Don’t skip the critical steps at the beginning of such a pivotal relationship. Sometimes the eagerness for attaining improvement means a tendency to jump in before doing a thorough job of preparation. Take the time to bring a consultant in well and you’ll find that it will make a big difference for a successful outcome (and your reputation) later on.

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